the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
