I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
