I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
