I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
