I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
