i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
