i can't believe i had my finger in that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
