I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just found puke in my bra..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
