drinking out of a sandbucket again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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