it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
