ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
