o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Girls should come with a carfax report
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
