i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
