I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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