I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
