What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize