I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
