im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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