I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
