id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
