Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
