i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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