I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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