All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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