my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
