dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
