idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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