I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i've created a new STD.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
