So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
