Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
