I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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