Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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