dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
