You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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