Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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(775): View more from Nevada

Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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(757): View more from Virginia

The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.

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(305): View more from Florida

It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not

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