3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My hand turned me down
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
