She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
