No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
