I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my phone needs a breathalizer
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
