I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize