I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
