i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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