big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
