I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
