I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
