I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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