...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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