3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
