there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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