i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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