don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
