I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
