So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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