Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
