I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize