i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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