That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
