hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize