her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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