remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You are the jesus of drinking
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
