I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This house was built for laser tag.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
