He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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