i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
