There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
