so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
