You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize