Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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