that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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