My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
